
‘Approach with caution & treat with care’

As a pet owner, you are always aware of your animal’s mortality, you know they won’t live as long as us, however nothing can really prepare you for the day they leave you.
Many of you will know my cat Dee as I post numerous photos of her around the internet. I got Dee when she was 8 weeks old, and she has been my dear friend and companion for the past 16 and half years. Last Thursday, 4th September, I had to say goodbye to her, and it was the saddest day of my life.
Luckily I have never had to face real grief before. My mum and dad are still with me, I have no brothers or sisters, and my friends are all in good health, so losing Dee was really my first experience of losing someone so close to me. Yes I have had pets in the past but these have always really been my mum’s animals and as much as I was upset when they died, losing Dee was a lot more personal.

(Dee as a kitten 16 years ago)
For most of her long life Dee had been in great health, just the yearly trip to the vets to get her booster. However, a year or so ago she gained a thyroid problem. She had lost a lot of weight and we found out this was the cause. With tablets, the problem seemed to be sorted. Then came the kidney problem which we kept monitoring and the trips to the vets became more frequent. When Dexter came along Dee wasn’t herself. At first she was scared of Dexter and seemed to keep her distance from us more than normal. A few weeks went by and I was convinced she had become depressed and out of sorts. Her breathing became very strained so I took her to the vets. It turned out she had a heart disease. She was kept in as a matter of life or death but luckily she pulled through. She returned home with a concoction of tablets for Nik and I to give her and over the next couple of weeks with, a lot of TLC and constant monitoring she seemed to perk up. Last Wednesday she was booked in for another heart scan to see how she had been getting on since her last scare. I took her at 9am with the intention of leaving her there for the day. However, I got a phone call from the vets at lunch time to say that they had found a problem with her lungs which meant they needed to keep her in. To say I was worried was an understatement but I knew she was in good hands.
The next morning I rang for an update and it seemed that Dee had had a good night and was responding to the treatment. A couple of hours later I got the phone call that no pet owner wants to receive. Some more tests had revealed a tumour in her heart and Dee had taken a turn for the worst. The vets informed me that she was increasingly poorly and was now in quite a bit of pain. With all the will in the world there wasn’t much more they could do for her so they advised I came in within the hour to say goodbye.
It’s amazing how level-headed you become when faced with an emergency. Getting myself to the vets while finding someone to look after Dexter just seemed to happen and I have my good family to thank for that. Nik was over 2 hours away with work so couldn’t get back in time. When I got to the vets Dee was no longer her normal self, she was completely out of sorts. She was breathing through an oxygen mask and had tubes coming out of her side. I knew it was time to say goodbye. The vets had done everything they could for her and as hard as it was the decision had been made.
Seeing your pet in pain is such a hard thing. The vet reassured me that nothing more could be done for Dee and it was much kinder to let her go. So on 4th September at 12.30pm Dee died in my arms and I said goodbye.

(Dee all grown up)
Going home to an empty house was hard. For the first two hours it didn’t really hit me and then suddenly I just couldn’t stop crying. I cried and cried and cried some more. The thing I had been dreading for the past few years had happened.
A few days on and the house seems so empty. I still can’t bring myself to clear her stuff away; the litter tray and numerous boxes are still scattered around the house, her cat food is in the fridge and her blanket is still on the sofa. I know I need to clear them away but leaving them there makes me feel that she is still around.
I got Dee because at the time I worked from home and I wanted a pet to keep me company. Something she has done for the past 16 years. She has followed me from house, to flat and now to the house I live in in Sheffield. She has seen men come and go, friends, jobs, new careers. Whatever happened, Dee was always there. She was the one I talked to every day, the one constant in my life, the one that I could always turn to for comfort, to cuddle and just be with.
Now she has gone I just can’t believe I will never see her again. I miss her so much. I feel like part of me is missing. Those of you who don’t have pets won’t get it, I may sound like a crazy person, but I loved Dee so very very much. I know in time it will get easier – time is a healer as they say – but for now I feel like someone has ripped my heart out.
Dee is at peace now, that I can be sure of. She is in kitty heaven bossing all the other cats about, swishing her tail and finding the best cardboard box to sleep in. She will have a big pile of bubble wrap and tissue paper with her and no doubt a big pile of chicken.
Those of you who have pets – go and give them a big hug. Never take them for granted and make sure they know you love them. The time we have with them is precious and I will cherish the time I had with Dee. She had a good life and was thoroughly spoiled and I’m so pleased I had the chance to spend the last 16 years with her.

(The first photo I took of Dee, she was 8 weeks old)
(The last photo I took of Dee a week before she died)
Dee I love you, and I always will. My munchkin, my princess, my small face, my fluff ball…….You will always have a place in my heart, I miss you dearly.
I am so sorry Kelly, i know exactly what you are going through having gone through something similar with our family cat, George who after 16 years had to be put down on Christmas Eve a few years ago. Nothing prepares you and you will never ever forget Dee and all the joy she bought to you. You have lots of lovely photos to look back on and cherish xx
Thank you Nicola, it is clar there are so many peoplewho have been through the same thing, so hard. xx
You made me cry reading this, I am cat mad too! Bless Dee and big hugs to you xx
Big hugs to you to Rebecca xx
Oh honey. Kelly I’m so so sorry. I understand your love of Dee, and I admire your bravery in letting her go to rest. She was such a well-loved kitty who couldn’t ask for more. Much love to you. xx
Thank you so much Jay xx
Oh Kelly I know exactly how you are feeling, it’s a year since I had to let my Cleo go, the only constant thing in my life for 19 years. I still miss her so much, and the grief still comes to the surface when something reminds me. I take comfort that she knew she was truly loved and had a lovely life with me, but a piece of me went with her that awful day. You’ve lost a member of your family and it’s hard. Sending you a hug x
Thank you Diane, yes she was a prt of the family and very much missed xx
So sorry about Dee. As a pet owner I completely understand – particularly as we’ve been having medical issues with our little creatures recently. Much love!
much love to you too, and I hope the medical issues are nothing to serious xx
So sorry to hear about Dee, Kelly…..such a lovely little soul, and I completely understand how devastating the loss of her companionship is, our cherished animal friends are so woven into our lives that their loss is very deeply felt. She evidently had the best life with you, and your memories of your time together will always be with you xx
Thank you so much Joanne xx
So, so sorry to read this Kelly! We lost one of our cats when he was just a year old and the pang I get in my chest when I think about him will always be there, but each day it does get easier. You have an incredible friendship with your pets so it’ll take time to grieve :(! Thinking of you! Xx
Thank you so much Katie xx
The bravest and kindest thing you will have ever done in your life was saying goodbye to Dee. It will also have been the hardest and saddest. The first time Mike and I had to make this decision was with our cat Mel 13 years ago and she’s now been gone as long as she lived. It was utterly devastating. I’ve grown up with pets in my life all my life and I felt sad when they died but like you it was always my mum and dad who had to make the decision at the end. I feel heartbroken for you and Dee’s final post has made me cry. She was beautiful and she was loved and she will always be with you. You made her happy and she made you happy, this is when life is perfect. You’re right, people who don’t have pets through choice or who don’t like them don’t get it but who cares what they think. They will never know perfection, they will never know how much our pets enrich our lives and how they make us better human beings, they will never know unconditional love. Cry for Dee all you need to and smile for her too, it’s how you’ll know your heart is saying ‘Dee I loved you so much I’ll take the pain of grief to take your pain away from you.’ I’m so sad for you Kelly. xx
Thanks so much Yvonne, and thanks for all your support thorugh this, you have been a star xxxx
You’re welcome, absolutely anytime. I know how heartbroken you are and feel so sorry for you. xx
This made me cry Kelly, it’s so hard to say goodbye, I lost my dog when she was 15 years old, it still hurts 4 years later. It will get easier in time, take comfort in the fact that Dee had a wonderful life with you. X
Thanksso much Rebecca. xx
Kelly this is such a sad, heartwarming, beautiful, touching, overwhelming article, thank you so much for writing it. It made me cry and evokes so clearly how much you loved Dee and how age will always be in your heart. X
Thanks so much Jen, you are very kind xxx
Oh I’m so sorry 🙁 I’m glad I didn’t read this yesterday as our 20 month old cat had been missing for 2 days and I was an absolute inconsolable wreck. Completely understand the love you feel for Dee! Thankfully he sauntered back in this morning. If only cats knew how much they are loved! I really hope he lives to be as old as Dee was. Thinking of you xx
Thanks so much Bron, glad to hear your little one returned home safely xxx
What a beautiful cat! I’m so sorry for your loss. I dread the day when I have to say goodbye to my doggies. 🙁 x
Thanks Helen xx